Death Note, InsaneLy in Love
by cupckeshrk8D
Summary: Someone new joins the task force, and L finds himself in love. InsaneLy in love.
1. Who is this mysterious person

Death Note, InsaneLy in Love

A Death Note Fanfic

Someone new joins the task force, and L finds himself in love. InsaneLy in love. BEWARE OF DEATH NOTE SPOILERS!

Chapter 1, Who is this mysterious person?

AN: The L in insanely is supposed to be in L's font anyway on with the story lol :) Also I do not own death note. Also don't steal my OC(s)! Also please read at least the first three chapters before reviewing. Also this fic is already complete. I finished writing it back in May. Sorry this AN took so long, anyway here is my first fanfic (I know it's garbage, it's a parody)

L and Light were sitting in a room in task force headquarters. They were handcuffed together. Because this takes place in the Yotsuba arc. L thought about how Kira is evil and must be stopped. "Kira is evil and must be stopped," thought L. L looked at Light and tried to guess what he was thinking. He is evil, so he was probably thinking evil things. Evil things about how he is an evil jerk who murders awesome super cool detectives who are so much better than Light who is a beep beep ! Suddenly there was a knock on the door! L went to open the door and there was a person their at the door. "Hi, I'm Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith, and Kira killed my parents so I want to help investigate!" shouted Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith. She had two light purple hair clips in her hair. She wore a light pink T-shirt and dark blue jeans. She had a light purple purse that matched her hair clips, and white sneakers. Her turquoise eyes sparkled like the ocean. Her dark brown hair tumbled down past her shoulders to her waist. She was the most beautiful person L had ever seen. L felt something, a feeling he had never felt before. He didn't know what it was, or how to describe it, but he was in love.

AN: Sorry this chapter was kind of short, but this feels like a good place to end the first chapter


	2. A day off

Chapter 2, A day off

AN: This chapter is much longer than the previous one

L and Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith were sitting on a couch in task force headquarters working on the Kira case. Light was also there, but because he was handcuffed to L, not because people liked him. L suddenly announced something. "We have been working a lot these past few days, so we should take a day off." "You're right," agreed Light. "If we work to hard we won't be able to focus on our work." "Shut up Light! No one asked you!" said L. Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith stuck her tongue out at Light. "I have an idea!" She shouted. "Let's go to the mall." The three of them piled in to L's limo. "Where do you want to bloody go? Also would you like some tea? GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!"asked Watari britishly in a british accent. L said they were going to the mall, so Watari drove them there. L was wearing his usual white shirt and blue jeans. Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith was wearing a purple tank top and a light blue skirt. She accessorized with some silver bracelets and her light purple hair clips. On her feet she wore black flats. Light was wearing a shirt and khakis or something. At the mall, they went to the food court and got some cake. L gave Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith the strawberry on his cake. She smiled, causing L to blush. "Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith, can I call you Beth?", asked L. "Of course!,"smiled Beth. L and Beth walked to the escalator, dragging Light behind them. As they headed up to the clothing store Beth wanted to go to, they talked about Kira. "I want to stop Kira because he killed my parents."said Beth. "I thought Kira only killed criminals?" asked Light. "Kira killed my parents because they had important information about the investigation. I felt so sad when my parents died, I knew I had to help stop Kira!" responded Beth. L unhandcuffed Light. "Light, could you go hang out with Matsuda for a bit, I want to talk to Beth in private." Matsuda and Light walked away. Once they were out of earshot, L said something. "I had to make sure Light can't listen in on our conversation. He is a Kira suspect. Do you know what the important information was?" "I'm sorry, I don't know. They never told me. They didn't want me in danger. I'm sorry. I guess we should go regroup with Matsuda and Light" said Beth, grumbling Light's name. "It's okay. Before we regroup, there's something I need to tell you," responded L. "What?", questioned Beth. "Beth, … (AN: When there's a … that means that the person talking pauses talking. Just fought I should clarify) Bethany, … " L paused again. He looked nervous, he was having trouble getting words out. "Bethany!" L shouted. "Ever since I met you I've felt this feeling. I didn't know what it was, I tried to ignore it. But I can't. Bethany I love you!" "Ryuzaki … I love you two," Beth replied. They kissed. The kiss seemed to last forever, yet didn't last long enough. Beth sighed. "I guess we have to regroup with Matsuda and Light now," she said, frowning. L pulled out his phone and texted Light.

L: Where are you and Matsuda?

Light: Tennis Store

L: Where is that?

Light: 2nd floor, across from the escalators

L: Which escalators?

Light: The ones that lead to the food court

L: Okay

"Light and Matsuda are at the Tennis Store on the second floor." said L. They walked to the Tennis Store. On the way there, they found a store that sold cute hair clips. "Hey, Beth! They have a hair clip that looks like a strawberry." L bought the hair clip and gave it to Beth. "Thank you!" She smiled. When she smiled he smiled. It felt good when she smiled. It felt good when she got her way. When they got to the Tennis Shop, they were surprised to find Light and Matsuda were not there. "Where are they! They said they would be here! What is wrong with them?", yelled Beth. She was upset. More than upset. She was mad. L didn't want her to be upset. If he felt good when she was happy, he felt horrible when she was upset.

AN: So what do you think? I don't know if all chapters will be as long as this one.


	3. The garbage reveals it's parody nature

Chapter 3, The garbage reveals it's parody nature

AN: This is from Light's POV, so you know where he was in Chapter 2. Well, sort of from his point of view. Like third person but you can hear his thoughts? Sorry I forgot what that's called.

L had unhandcuffed Light so he could talk to Beth in private. He was told to hang out with Matsuda while they talked. For some reason he thought Matsuda was not with them until L mentioned him. No, he was sure. Watari had only dropped the three of them off at the mall. Matsuda had just appeared out of thin air when he was needed. WHY DID NO ONE ELSE THINK THIS WAS WEIRD? Why did he not question it until now? He only found it weird once they were out of earshot from them. The universe made no sense lately. L was acting weird. Taking a day off? Unhandcuffing him? How were these smart moves? Heck, he had agreed with taking a day off! What was wrong with L? What was wrong with him? Suddenly a text from L distracted him from his panicking. His thoughts seemed to disappear, his fear fading away

L: Where are you and Matsuda?

Light: Tennis Store

L: Where is that?

Light: 2nd floor, across from the escalators

L: Which escalators?

Light: The ones that lead to the food court

L: Okay

When the conversation finished, he had to bite his lip to keep from screaming. Regaining his sanity was unsettling, almost painful. All his terror rushing back into his mind at once. But it was worth it to have his mind once again free. How was this happening? THE GIRL! This all started when she showed up. Whenever she was there it was like he couldn't think. His brain seemed to shut down, only occasionally spouting a line that made no sense. But it doesn't make sense why? WHY? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? He was stuck. Nothing made sense. He couldn't figure it out. Did she have some kind of mind control? L would be able to figure this out. But L was trapped, stuck by her side. L's mind seemed more gone than his was. Light could at least disagree with her. He wasn't incable of disliking her. But L, he was at her side non stop. He was always eager to impress her. He blushed when she smiled. He was completely out of character. Almost like this was some beeep fanfic. Huh? Even when away from her his mouth was not completely his own. He had to get as far from her as possible. They were now getting on the escalator. He bolted into a nearby store, Matsuda following behind. It was a pet store … maybe? Nothing really seemed to be described. Except for clothing. Beth now had a strawberry hair clip in her hair. "Where are they! They said they would be here! What is wrong with them?", yelled Beth. What was wrong? Who was this girl? Where did she even come from?

AN: And now you know my fic isn't complete garbage. Yay!


	4. A romantic date

Chapter 4, A romantic date

AN: This chapter is the day after they went to the mall. Bethany found them in the pet store and yelled at Light but not Matsuda because he was just following Light like L told him to do.

"HI I M MISA MISA NICE 2 MEET U :) BETH" shouted Misa. "I M LIGHT'S GF" Then L walked into the room. "Beth do you want to go on a date? I got you some flowers" said L, handing her a bouquet of roses. "I'd love to Ryuzaki, but … Light would have to be their so you can keep an eye on him since he is Kira, but that would be awkward" replied Beth "MISA HAS AN IDEA! IT CAN BE A DOUBLE DATE WITH U & L & WITH ME & LIGHT!" screeched Misa. So they got ready for the double date. Misa wore a black dress with black skulls and black lace. L wore his usual white shirt and blue jeans, and a clip on tie. Light was wearing a shirt and khakis or something. Bethany wore a light pink dress and had a red bow in her dark brown hair, which was pulled up in a ponytail. She wore the strawberry hair clip L had given her in chapter 2 and red flats. They went to a fancy restaurant because L was rich and could a ford it. Watari drove them to the restaurant. "Have fun on your date kids." said Watari. The waiter said in a british accent britishly,"What do you want to bloody eat? Would you like some tea?" "LOL U R SO BRITISH! I WANT A SALAD, CAUSE I DON WANT 2 GET FAT" screamed Misa Anime. "I want a sand-" Light was interpreted by L. "Hey I was going to say want I wanted. I want cheesecake." said L. "I would like a lobster, I know it's expensive but my boyfriend is rich so we can afford it." "Okay, I'll go get the bloody food" britished the waiter britishly. Then they all got there food except for Light because he didn't order, but that is okay because he is an evil jerk. "SO 1 TIM ME & LIGHT WERE THE BALLET AN IT WAS SO ROMANTIC. LIKE IT WAS FROM A ROMANCE MOVIE OR SOMETHING." Yelled Misa. "Of COURSE L WAS THERE SO IT WAS KINDA AWKWARD." "L is not awkward! He is the best boyfriend ever!" replied Beth. "L IS WEIRD! LIGHT IS A WAY BETTER BF!" "You take that back!" "NO! YOU ARE A beep AND I THINK YOU ARE A beep beep beep WHO CAN beep A beep beep beep BECAUSE YOU ARE A beep beep!" Then Misa got kicked out of the restaurant for swearing. Beth and L kissed. Their arms wrapped around each over in a sweet embrace. Then they finished with their date so they walked outside and looked at the moon. Watari was there in L's limo waiting for them to be ready to go back to task force headquarters. Watari got out of the car. SUDDENLY HE PULLED OUT A MACHINE GUN AND SHOT L! But he missed and killed Misa instead. No one cared because she was evil and worked for Light who is Kira in case you forgot. Misa bled all over the place (AN: Like when Mikami died in the anime) "beep Misa got blood on my shirt" said L. L screamed because Watari had tried to kill him. Watari was like a grandpa or a butler to him. He was like Alfred from Batman. Why would he try to kill him? Then the waiter pulled out a bazooka and shot Watari which scared him away. As Watari ran away, he dropped his machine gun. "Don't bloody worry I am Watari that was actually my evil twin brother Atari. He is evil because he doesn't like tea!" said Watari britishly. (AN: I foreshadowed this. The Waiter talked in british but "Watari" did not, so you knew which one was actually Watari) "Wait, why were you pretending to be a waiter?" asked Beth. L figured it out cause he was smart. "It was to spy on us in case someone tried to kill me." said L. "Yes L, but I was expecting bloody Misa (AN: Get it? Because she bled all over the place :) lol) to team up with Light, not for Atari to show up. GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" britished Watari "We need to stop Atari before he kills L! Don't worry L, I won't let him kill you." said Beth. "Thank you" said L. They kissed, but then Beth pushed L away because he still had blood on his shirt. THEN A MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE APPEARED!

AN: DUN DUN DUN! This chapter was super action packed and also romantic I hope you liked it.


	5. Mello! And Near!

Chapter 5, Mello! And Near!

AN: This chap picks up immediately after the last one

"OH NO!" shouted Beth "Which one is L?" The MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE looked exactly like L, but with a bloody shirt. But L's shirt also had blood on it now (AN: It's Misa's blood from when Watari who was actually Atari accidently killed Misa when trying to kill L) So no one could tell them apart! The MYSTERIOUS SHADOWY FIGURE was Beyond Birthday! But you probably already guessed that! Unless you haven't read the book. But that's ok. I haven't actually read it. But BB is a cool character so I'm using him anyway. If you didn't read it sorry for spoiling it :(. To figure out which one was L they called the smartest people in the world besides L. A super fast jet plane parked in front of the restaurant. Mello and Near got out of the plane. "We need your help! We can't tell which one is Beyond Birthday and which one is L because they both have bloody shirts." said Beth. Mello dramatically bit into a chocolate bar. "Hmm … this is very difficult … Nevermind it is impossible to figure out I can't do it." said Mello. "I am smarter than Mello, I can figure it out." said Near as he fiddled with his toy robot. "GOSH DARN IT! I am also stuck. BB is to smart. … Wait, I could invent a anti smart ray so BB will be less smart and we will be able to figure it out. But by my calculations it will take three years to invent." said Near. "Wait, I've got a better idea that won't take three years!" said Beth. "We can invent a time machine so we can skip ahead to when you invent the anti smart ray!" she finished. Near and Mello were so amazed because Beth was smarter than them. She got declared the second smartest person in the world. She is actually smarter than L, but she is really kind and humble so she let him keep his title. Mello got kinda angry at being outsmarted, but he was fine with it because he knew Beth deserved it. So they built the time machine. It only took like five hours to build because there were three smart people working on it. Also because one time Near built a time machine for his science fair project, so he knew what he was doing. Everyone got into the time machine. Except for the two L's, because they didn't know which one was evil. And Near who needed to work on the anti smart ray. And Watari who had to make sure Atari did not try to kill L. And Light because he was Kira. And Misa because she was dead. And Mikami because he hasn't shown up yet, I only mentioned him in the author's note. And Matsuda because he was at the task force headquarters. And the other cops because they were also at task force headquarters. So actually it was only Mello and Beth in the time machine. Watari waved goodbye, as he was standing right next to the time machine. The time machine whooshed through time. They were in the future! But they went to far and were in the year 4010 instead of the year 2010! "WHOA!" said Mello, doing a spit take with his chocolate. They were in a futuristic future city that was filled with futuristic giant skyscrapers. Everything was all shiny and covered in solar panels and futuristic billboards. "Oh No! We went to far! Near isn't immortal so he would be dead by the year 4010" said Mello. Than all of a sudden the billboards all became the letter N and it was in L's fancy font! "Actually I am immortal because I uploaded my brain to a computer and built this future city!" said the billboards. Mello grumbled because he was jealous of Near's future city. "You're here for the anti smart ray aren't you?" said the billboards which will now call the Nearboards because his name is Near not Bill. Then the floor opened up and there was a staircase. The staircase led to a room with a pedestal and on the pedestal was the anti smart ray. "Once you have stopped Beyond Birthday can you destroy the anti smart ray? If someone were to use it on my past self, this city would never be built, and all the people here would become ham less." said the Nearboards. "Ok" said Beth who agreed right away because she was nice. Mello begrudgingly agreed, as he had actually planned to use it on Near but he didn't want there to be ham less people. They said goodbye to Near and got back in the time machine.

AN: OMG this fic is like five chapters! This is like the longest thing I've ever written and it's not done yet. Don't worry there is still plenty fic left and you'll get another chapter from Light's POV soon


	6. Oh L, L! Wherefore art thou L?

Chapter 6, Oh L, L! Wherefore art thou L?

AN: I now I said there would be a Light chapter, but I meant chapter 7, sorry, should have clarified

They were whooshing through time again, except this time going backwards because they were going back to the past! As they whooshed through time, MELLO SCREWED UP STEERING AGAIN AND WE ENDED UP IN THE WRONG TIM AGAIN! But this time instead of the future, this time Beth and Mello (Remember, they were the only ones to go in the time machine) ended up in the past! It was the medieval time. "Where are we?" questioned Mello. "I think this is medieval time, I recognise this from when we read Romeo and Juliet in english class" remarked Beth. (AN: I am reading it for english class, it is romantic but also boring) "Oh no!" shouted Beth. "The time machine is Hoboken!" So they could not return to the past immediately. They needed to get parts to fix the time machine. They went in to a clothing store to buy some clothes. In the future, people mistook their present clothes for hipster clothes, but in the past they would not make that mistake so they needed past clothes or people would know they were not from the past. Mello was grouchy because he liked his black leather hipster clothes. Bethany (AN: Beth was not a name in the past so she will go by Bethany because this is a stealth mission!) put on a pale blue gown and tied up her hair in a bun. Mello wore a poofy shirt but refused to change his black leather hipster pants. "Wherefore doth thou wear such strange pants?" the spock keeper wondered. "Uh … they are ye olden pants from ancient Egypt." answered Mello. "Thou maketh sense." responded the spock keeper. Now dressed in medieval clothes, they headed to the castle. They needed to talk to Shakespeare, who was the king of England! And because this was before the declaration of independence, Shakespeare was king of the whole world. (AN: I know Shakespeare was not the king of the world, just england. But this is a reference to Light and Dark the Adventures of Dark Yagami) They walked up to the castle, but the guards would not let them in! "Halt! Thou shalt not pass!" yelled one of the guards who looked kind of like Gandalf. "I am Gandalf and thou shalt not pass!" bellowed Gandalf at the top of his mighty wizard lungs. And so they could not get past the guards and needed to think of a solution. Meanwhile in the present, Light was moving the plot forward!


	7. Meanwhile in the present!

Chapter 7, Meanwhile in the present!

AN: Here is the Light POV chapter I promised at the end of chapter 5. Well it's sort of Light's POV but for more POV explanation look at the AN at the beginning of Chapter 3

Meanwhile in the present, Light was wondering about what to do about her. They would have at least a little time before Mello and Beth got back with the anti smart ray. (AN: The way time travel works in this fic is that time continues to move forward while you are in the past or future, so if you spend an hour in the past, when you return to the present an hour has passed) Light needed to come up with a plan fast, it wouldn't take long to get the anti smart ray. (AN: Light doesn't know that they are stuck in the medieval times) L would be no help (AN: Light regains his sanity when not near Beth because he isn't a main character in the story but L is so he doesn't), he was still under her spell. (AN: Also L is still brainwashed because writing L in character is to hard) (AN: When I said Light wasn't a main character, I meant that he isn't a main character in the Beth dating L story not the Light trying to stop Beth story) She was invincible, the laws of the universe seemed to bend to her will. So he couldn't kill her. At least not directly. Maybe somehow he could use the anti smart ray on her? No … That wouldn't work. She's already a moron. (AN: Before you point out that chapter 4 said that she is the smartest person in the world, this is Light's opinion) beep This was impossible (AN: Also the whole universe bending makes everyone else dumber in comparison, so she's a genius compared to everyone in the fic, but is a moron compared to the canon) to do. Huh … for some reason Light thought he kept being interrupted (AN: because I'm to beep lazy to come up with another way to move the plot forward) He was definitely being (AN: FANFICTION IS HARD TO WRITE! OKAY!) interrupted.

AN: sorry there are so many author's notes, also this chapter was really short sorry.


	8. Meeting King Shakespeare

Chapter 8, Meeting King Shakespeare/span/span/p  
AN: Back to the past!

"Thou shalt not pass!" bellowed Gandalf at the top of his mighty wizard lungs again. "We art here to see thou King, Shakespeare. We need his help to fix thy time machine." said Bethany. "Thou may pass, King Shakespeare loves science. Take thy time machine to him, and he shalt help thee." replied Gandalf, letting them in to the castle. Inside the castle, Shakespeare was sitting on a throne of gold. A long red velvet carpet led from the entrance to the throne. On either side of the carpet guards stood, guarding the palace. Shakespeare was wearing a poofy collar and other medieval clothes. He wore a shiny golden crown, and mad scientist goggles."WHAT ART THOU DOING HERE?" shouted Shakespeare like a king in medieval times who was shouting. "King Shakespeare, we need thou to fix our time machine. "OK! I LOVE SCIENCE! I SHALT NOT KILL THOU!" shouted Shakespeare like an excited mad scientist sitting on a throne of gold who was shouting. So they brought the time machine in to the palace. "SADLY THY TIME MACHINE IS FAR TOO BROKEN TO BE FIXED! YOU SHALT BE TRAPPED IN THE PAST FOREVER!" shouted Shakespeare like a historical playwright who for some reason was in a Death Note fanfic who was shouting. Bethany wept, tears streaming down her face. The tears in her eyes made her beautiful turquoise eyes sparkle. "Oh No! I shalt never see Ryuzaki again!" moaned Bethany. "He's my boyfriend," she explained to Shakespeare, because he wasn't in the previous chapters and thus didn't know. "And no one shalt be able to stop Beyond Birthday!" cried Bethany. "I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR THOU! THOU RETURNING TO THE PRESENT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THOU. BUT THOU ART STUCK HERE UNTIL TIME MACHINES ARE INVENTED, WHICH WILL NOT HAPPEN UNTIL 2002, WHEN NEAR MAKES ONE FOR HIS SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT!" shouted Shakespeare, like a sad king who had future vision who was shouting. "How do you know when Near is going to invent the time machine?" asked Bethany. "I HAVE FUTURE VISION!" shouted Shakespeare like a guy wearing a poofy collar and medieval clothes who was shouting. "I GAINED THEM WHEN I BECAME A MARTIAL ARTS WIZARD!" shouted Shakespeare like a martial arts wizard. Then suddenly a glowing light appeared! It was a time machine and a person came out! "Hi, I'm 0ften, but you can call me 0! Future Near sent me to rescue you!" said 0ften. "Who are you? How do we know we can trust you?" asked Mello. "I'm Near's daughter." said 0. "Wait! What? Near has a kid!" shouted Mello. "Actually, I'm not human, I'm a robot he built." said 0. 0ften looked like Near, but if Near was a girl and if he was a robot. She wore a simple white dress, and her pale blonde hair fell down to her shoulders. "Sadly, the time machine I have is old and only has enough time machine energy to return you two to the present and for me to go home." explained 0. So 0 dropped them off at the present, then left for the future. Bethany used the anti smart ray on BB (AN: It only worked on him and not L because L is an idiot in this fic, due to brainwashing and bad writing) and then L arrested him. Bethany threw the anti smart ray on the ground and stomped on it. They needed to destroy it, so there would be no ham less people. Suddenly, Watari grabbed Atari's machine gun and tried to shoot L! But he failed and hit Demegawa instead! But nobody cared because Demegawa was a beep. "If I can not kill you in the present, then I will kill you in the past!" shouted Watari, but not in a british accent. He pulled out a time machine from his pocket! "Where did you get that?" asked Mello. "I had Near build it as a science fair project!" answered Watari. Then he jumped in to the time machine and went to the past. "OH NO! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME IN THE PAST!" shouted L. But Beth was not worried because she had realized something. Watari and Atari were the same person. When he goes back, he will be scared away by past Watari. Watari must have become evil when we left to go to the future. He had been standing right next to the time machine when Mello and Beth left to go to the future, so the time radiation probably made him evil.

AN: Next chapter will be another Light chapter. Also, 0ften is pronounced as Often, and 0 is pronounced as O. I just spelt it with zeros because it's cool, and she is a robot.


	9. Stupidly Meta

Chapter 9, Stupidly Meta

AN: The fic is actually almost over :) This fic has been really fun to write, even though it is garbage. Also this is a Light POV chapter

Beth had returned with Mello. They showed up in a different time machine then they used to go to the future, but frankly Light didn't care how they got it or why they were gone so long. There were far more important things. Like if he was actually being interrupted or if (AN: remember, this is from chapter 7) he was just crazy. When Watari tried to kill L with a machine gun, Light escaped in the confusion. He was now walking as far away from Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith (AN: That's her full name, remember) as he could. He was completely alone, yet someone or … something was interrupting his thoughts. (AN: Beth hasn't noticed he left yet, because they are busy figuring out that Watari and Atari were the same person due to time travel) Huh? Watari and Atari are the same person? That makes no sense. Why would (AN: Wait? You can hear me?) Watari say Atari was his twin then? Wait … How did I know that? (AN: Because for some reason you can hear me) Who are you? (AN: AN literally stands for Author's Note. I'm the author. duh) Wait … Of what? (AN: This garbage fanfic lol) You mean my life is just some terrible fanfic? What is it even a fanfic of? (AN: Hey my fic the best :( Also, its a Death Note Fic. Before you ask, Death Note is the greatest anime ever and you and L are the main characters) So am I a fictional character that became sentient or something? (AN: No, that's stupid. I just wrote that you hear the author's notes) Wait … So if you write everything I do, does that mean you wrote that I would call this fic terrible? (AN: Of course) Then why did you complain about me insulting it? (AN: Because it's funny) It's really not. (AN: Shut Up!) This is so stupid. (AN: This beep fic is so stupidly meta lol) Stop saying lol. It's really annoying. Light tripped and broke his arm. There was blood everywhere. He had to go to the hospital. Really? Taking revenge on me for complaining when you wrote that I would complain? Is this your sense of humor? (AN: Shut up! It's hilarious) Will you at least help me stop Beth? (AN: Ok) Great! You can just write that she dies in a car crash or something. (AN: No that's a stupid way to end a story. The ending needs to be dramatic) Then how do you want to stop her? (AN: I have an idea. It will be the best ending to a fanfic ever!) Given your style of writing, it won't be. (AN: Shut up! Well now I'm going to make you wait by putting a christmas chapter in between now and then) You did nothing to establish it was December ahead of time. (AN: Shut up!) Would you stop saying shut up? It's no longer funny. Heck, it was never funny in the first place. Light then passed out because of his broken arm.


	10. Yet Another Christmas Carol

Chapter 10, Yet Another Christmas Carol

AN: I wasn't joking about the christmas chapter. I'm seriously doing this. Also, yes this chapter is canon to the fic

It was Christmas eve at task force headquarters. Beth, L, Matsuda and the other police officers were all sitting near the fireplace. There was a large christmas tree in the center of the room. L was wearing his usual white shirt and blue jeans, and a santa hat. Beth was wearing a red and white striped sweater, and light grey jeans. She had a piece of holly in her waist length dark brown hair. Matsuda and the other cops were wearing suits."Beth, I want you to know something" said L. "My real name is L Lawliet. I want you to know this to show that I trust you." "How romantic" blushed Beth, and she kissed L on the cheek. Fortunately Light was not there to complain about how dumb that was, because he was still in the hospital with a broken arm. "Merry Christmas Beth" said L, smiling. Matsuda said something stupid and they all laughed. Meanwhile, at the hospital Light was sitting in bed thinking about how maybe he shouldn't have insulted the author so much. Because now he was feeling mean and grouchy like Scrooge. (AN: Yes, I am doing a Christmas Carol parody. Yes, I know this isn't very original. Yes, I know this isn't even the first Death Note fanfic Christmas Carol. I don't care.) "I hate Christmas and am really mean and greedy." said Light (AN: Light is out of character even though Beth is not there because he is the main character of this chapter, which is not a Light POV chapter) Then it was nighttime so Light went to bed. Suddenly a ghost floated up through the floor! It was Misa! (AN: She died in chapter 4) "LIGHT! 4 BEING AN EVIL GROUCH WHO NEEDS 2 love CHRISTMAS, 3 GHOSTS WILL VISIT U 2 NIGHT!" screamed Misa, who then left. Light, convinced he was dreaming, went back to sleep. But then another ghost appeared. It was Lind L. Tailor! (AN: Since the fic is during the Yotsuba arc, Lind L. Tailor has already died) "Who are you. … Wait! You're Lind L. Tailor!" said Light. "I am the ghost of Christmas past. Because I died in the past." said Lind L. Tailor/the ghost of christmas past. "I am going to take you to the past." The ghost of christmas past snapped his fingers. They were now in the past. "This was back when you were a kid, before you were Kira." Light looked, as a younger version of him excitedly opened his christmas presents. "This one is from your Grandfather" said Light's mom as she gave him a present. "A Death Note! This exactly what I wanted!" shouted Light. "How did you know Grandpa!" "I HAVE FUTURE VISION" shouted Shakespeare like a grandfather who was screaming. "Thank you!" said Light. "Look how grateful you used to be" said the ghost of christmas past. In a brief moment of sanity, (AN: as the author wanted someone to point this out) Light said "That didn't actually happen. This clearly isn't an actual flashback." "Shut up! I only appeared once and then died. I don't exactly know much about your past." said the ghost of christmas past. "If this didn't convince you, maybe the next ghost will." He disappeared, and Light was back in the hospital. Light convinced himself he was dreaming, and went back to sleep. But then another ghost appeared. It was Matsuda! "I'm the ghost of christmas present!" "But this cannot be!" shouted Light in a greedy voice. "I thought I had dreamed the previous two ghosts!" "This isn't a dream!" said the ghost of christmas present. He snapped his fingers and they were in the present. It was Christmas eve at task force headquarters. Beth, L, Matsuda and the other police officers were all sitting near the fireplace. There was a large christmas tree in the center of the room. L was wearing his usual white shirt and blue jeans, and a santa hat. Beth was wearing a red and white striped sweater, and light grey jeans. She had a piece of holly in her waist length dark brown hair. Matsuda and the other cops were wearing suits."Beth, I want you to know something" said L. "My real name is L Lawliet. I want you to know this to show that I trust you." "How romantic" blushed Beth, and she kissed L on the cheek. Fortunately Light was not there to complain about how dumb that was, because he was still in the hospital with a broken arm. "Merry Christmas Beth" said L, smiling. Matsuda said something stupid and they all laughed. Meanwhile, at the hospital Light was sitting in bed thinking about how maybe he shouldn't have insulted the author so much. "If you were nicer, you could be here at this christmas party!" said the ghost of christmas past. "Did you just copy and paste this from the beginning?" asked Light, once again slightly sane for the sake of the plot. "If this didn't convince you, maybe the last ghost will." said the ghost of christmas present. He disappeared, and Light was back in the hospital. Light failed to convince himself he was dreaming, and didn't go back to sleep. But then the last ghost appeared. It was L! He was the ghost of christmas yet to come. (AN: L is a ghost because he dies in the future. That's not a spoiler. Everyone dies eventually. Except Near) L snapped his fingers and now they were in the future! It was the future city Near had built. They were in a future graveyard. Near (AN: who is a billboard remember) was crying. And on the tombstone it said … … 0FTEN! "Poor 0ften! If only Kira hadn't killed her! If only Kira wasn't a evil, greedy, jerk!" shouted Near. "How was this supposed to convince me to be nicer? I'm not Kira!" The ghost of christmas yet to come did not respond. He just disappeared, leaving Light back in the hospital. "Wait a minute. If Lind L. Tailor was the ghost of christmas past because he died in the past, and L is the ghost of christmas yet to come because he dies in the future, then Matsuda is dying in the present!" Light jumped out the hospital window, running towards task force headquarters in an attempt to save Matsuda. For secretly, the ghosts had succeeded in convincing Light to be a better person.


	11. THE END?

Chapter 11, THE END?

Light reached task force headquarters, but he was too late. Matsuda was dead, having choked to death on a candy cane. The funeral was really sad. Even Light had cried, knowing he had been unable to save him. Matsuda's funeral was two weeks ago now. L, Beth, Light, and the other cops were sitting around in task force headquarters. L was eating some leftover gingerbread men. Beth picked up one of the gingerbread men and ate it. L looked up from his laptop. "I know who Kira is." "Really L! You're amazing!" Beth said. "Higuchi is Kira." said L. So they went to arrest Higuchi. It was happening just like in canon, but Beth had the sniper rifle instead of Watari because Watari became Atari and went to the past. L handed Light the Death Note, and Light screamed, having regained his memories of being Kira. He sneakily killed Higuchi with the hidden piece of the death note that was in his watch. Higuchi then died of a heart attack. "What! Higuchi just died!" shouted Soichiro Yagami. "There must be another Kira!" said L. He thought for a few seconds. "Light is Kira." deduced L. He handcuffed Light. "What! I'm not Kira! Besides you have no proof!" shouted Light. "I know you're Kira because you killed L!" said Beth. "But L isn't dead." "I have future vision because I am descended from Shakespeare!" said Beth. "So you know I'm Kira?" said Light. He then laughed evilly and jumped out of the helicopter. L and Beth began to chase him. Beth pulled out a gun and began to shoot at Light. They ran through the street, dodging cars and evading each other's bullets. Light made a quick right turn into an alleyway, pushing over a bicycle in an attempt to stop his pursuers. Beth jumped over the bicycle. She shot her gun again, but only managed to graze Light's shoulder. beep! She was out of bullets. beep! L shot at Light with Watari's Bazooka. (AN: From chapter 4) But he missed. The bazooka's fireball hit a mirror and turned around. They soon began running in the opposite direction, all three of them trying to escape the deadly fire. Now Light was chasing Beth and L. Their chase led them into a gas mask store. L put one on because it made him look cool. The fireball exploded the gas mask store. L and Beth ducked out of the way. Unfortunately, Light did too. Beth and L started running after Light, and the chase picked up again. They soon found themselves at an abandoned warehouse. The lights were off. The warehouse was pitch black. Light disappeared into the darkness. L and Beth gathered their courage, and went in after him.

AN: To be continued!


	12. Death of a Mysterious Person?

Chapter 12, Death of a Mysterious Person?

Light laughed maniacally as the warehouse lights turned on. He put on a menacing looking gas mask. Beth gasped as he flipped a switch on the wall. "Mwah Ha Ha Ha!" laughed Light in an evil voice. An alarm started blaring in their ears. "WARNING DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE WARNING!" screeched the alarm. Beth cried as she collapsed in her boyfriend's arms. "L … I love you" L held back a tear. "I love you Bethany Anne Isabella Marina Smith" said L, as his true love died in his arms. "NO!" screamed L. He pulled out another gun and went to shoot at Light. But before he could he collapsed on the floor, having died of a heart attack. "You really shouldn't have revealed your real name." said Light as L died. Wow. "The ending was even dumber than I expected", thought Light. (AN: Hey!) "This fic was complete garbage." (AN: Shut up! It could have been worse) How? (AN: It could have been a LxLight fic)

The End

AN: I hope you enjoyed my garbage fanfic :) Thank you for reading :) This was the first fic I wrote that I didn't panic, decide it was to hard and stop. But of course, because I don't know any Death Note fans, I got the insane idea to put this online. I really hope you enjoyed this or it at least amused you. I am not as stupid as the author's notes make me sound, I just have an insane sense of humor. Sorry for ruining all your favorite characters. Unless your favorite characters weren't in this. Then sorry for not ruining them. What was I doing? Oh yeah! Ending this garbage fanfic.

Death Note, InsaneLy in Love

A Garbage Death Note Fanfic Parodying Garbage Death Note Fanfics

Someone new joins the task force, and L finds himself in love. InsaneLy in love. Emphasis on insane.


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